the tumblr of dumb

• Dragons are slaves to their own bureaucracy, needing to fill out and file with their main office at least 10 days before any murderous rampage.
• Dragons are the only sentient species known to actually enjoy the music of U2.
• For every dragon you kill, a third of a dragon will come up in it’s place.
• Masturbation really is a sin in Dragon society.
• Mr. Dewey Decimal is the patron saint of all Dragonkind.

d8uv is currently the Vice-President of the Internet, having won the position for 3 years running. A former manager at the Council of Meme Management, he now assists the President of the Internet, Richard Nixon, in coordinating inter-web relationships. Notably in the past, he has chaired the committees that have brought both the Ceiling Cat and Tubgirl memes into existance, both of which he feels absolutely apologetic about. He lives in the basement of his mother’s house, with his 7 cockroaches, which he unknowingly takes care of.

• The natural enemies of the Dragon, ironically, are graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate squares.
• If a dragon gets an itch under it’s scales, their only recourse is to goad a knight to try and slay them in that specific spot.
• Dragons long to be able to play country music, but alas, their anatomy is not well suited to plucking a banjo.
• Male dragons do not have nipples.
• Like the elephant being scared of the mouse, so too is the dragon frightened by the common duck.